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THE DAY ECW DIED

It is almost bitter sweet that the night the WWE brought back ECW to begin it’s second rain was in fact the night that ECW died. The only respect I can shine towards the WWE is that they did send ECW out with guns blazing.

At this moment the show had come to its main event for the evening with the match up being RVD the home grown champion of ECW verses John Cena the poster boy for the WWE at our present day and age. IN the beginning one can only be astonished by the crowd. This crowd was in fact the last true ECW crowd to be established under one roof, everyone was wearing their ECW t-shirts and hats. Signs saying” Anti-Cena” and “If Cena wins we riot” were posted throughout the masses.

When RVD entered an eruption occurred as the fans showed whose side they were on, however, one thing I was not expecting was the reaction John Cena received. Now obviously in this case Cena was the heel, at least to the crowd, but what occurred after John Cena entered the ring blew me away.

As in many cases a wrestler will take off his attire, in this case a t-shirt, and toss it into the crowd as a keep sake for one lucky fan. But the pro-ECW fans wanted no part in anything Cena had to offer and tossed the shirt back into the ring. A shocked John Cena went to the opposite end of the arena and tossed it to another fan, again it was tossed back. Every time this happened the crowd fed off its hate for Cena and continued to toss back the shirt. That is a once in a lifetime thing to see, and to cap it all off RVD simply walks to Cena who is holding his returned shirt and informs him of who he is “RVD”.

If you thought that was enough stay tuned because “fuck you Cena” chants and “CENA SWALLOWS” chants would occur in the opening moments of the match, toilet paper would be tossed around and many boo’s would occur on any offense Cena had.

Now as fake as you want to say pro wrestling is I will argue that by agreeing it is fake but suggesting everything is fake in the same regard, a movie it fake because it is scripted and shot but once it is put together there is an aura that one cannot ever accuse of being fake. When Cena and RVD go toe to toe and being to punch one another it is obviously scripted, however, what gives this moment life is that the fans are commanding the actions by booing Cena and cheering RVD, the fans control how long this will go and how much delay and build up are involved in every blow.

Additionally to those accusing wrestling of being fake. Like any sports star they can bring their A-game when they wish. Cena sling shooting RVD into a steel chair would normally be blocked with RVD putting his hands up and selling the move as if he took it to the face, HOWEVER, in the moment of RVD wrestling like a CHAMPION he eats that chair face first.

I highly suggest any true fan of wrestling to watch this match-up as it is a historical moment in pro wrestling history. I only add that when you watch it take into consideration the amount of heat Cena had as a heel and only pray that when Cena returns this year he isn’t the repetitive face but a newly defined heel.

RVD vs. John Cena ECW: One Night Stand Pt. 1

RVD vs. John Cena ECW: One Night Stand Pt. 2

RVD vs. John Cena ECW: One Night Stand Pt. 3

Return to Shop WWE!

August Column of the Month - The MadRanter by MadChuck

Every month in the Columns section of LoPForums.com, we hold a contest to determine the best writer of said month, with the winner receiving the opportunity to have one of their columns posted here on the Lords of Pain main page. The winner for the month of August managed to pull off something that only two people have done before him, and that’s win back to back awards. Thus, I’m very proud to give you MadChuck, and his CotM winning column, The MadRanter. Enjoy.

Welcome to the MadRanter, I’m your host MadChuck. Before anything else I want to start this thing out on a serious note. Wrestler Sonny Siaki from TNA has announced his retirement because he has to donate his kidney to his brother Bernard. Without this kidney transplant Sonny’s brother would die. I think that this is an amazing act of bravery, love and sacrifice because without one of his kidneys Sonny will have to retire from wrestling, his lifetime bread winner and something which he obviously loves. Kidney transplants costs a lot of money and the bills for medical check up and care afterwards will cost a lot too. So please, if you are financially able, please show some love and human kindness and visit: www.savebernardsiaki.org. Where you will be able to donate and help out the Siaki family.

Thank you to everyone who sent me emails last month with feedback to my column last month. Thank you. But for TNA or JR fans who just said Fuck you in your emails and then block my return mail and not give me a chance to rebuff or at least find out what upset you the most. I give you two mega Middle Fingers assholes. I fought and I crawled in the Columns Forums in the month of August again, just to have a chance to fucking get back on the main page this month to cuss you motherless motherfuckers out. Who the fuck do you think you are? Fucking sons of arrogant thankless assholes. I rile my brains and sit in front of a fucking PC for hours and hours trying to entertain you and that’s the fucking thanks I get. Fuck You and your families.

I don’t mind that you have different opinions from mine. But don’t just say “Fuck you, TNA is great.” And than block my return mail. That shows that you have a brain fit for a fucking monkey. Shit maybe you do have the brains of a fucking monkey. Because no one with a decent IQ would have been able to sit thru or enjoy the fucking return of the King of the Mountain Jeff Jarrett.

King of the Mole Hill

What a lame ass return, there is nothing heart felt about it. He did not have any electricity during any of his runs and he certainly did not provide any spark in his return as the “founder” of TNA. His return is equivalent to the return of DLO Brown in my eyes. The difference is he got to cut a long ass promo. Jeff says that he founded TNA to give a chance to the young wrestlers who deserved a run in the limelight. Well who the fuck did he really push other than himself. You fucking TNA diehards could mention AJ Styles but how long was he a Champion in TNA, does anyone still remember when it was? What of your precious AJ now? He is just Kurt Angle’s Bitch. He certainly isn’t headlining anything. Samoa Joe and Abyss are the only two that could be labeled a star in the world of wrestling and d that’s about it. Otherwise it’s Kurt Angle, Booker T, Christian and Sting carrying TNA, funny that they all made their name in the WWE. Where are your fucking homegrown TNA talents Jeff? Only two or three homegrown talents from 8 illustrious years of TNA’s existence? It means that either you or the writing staff are doing a terrible job pushing young talent or no one in TNA other than Samoa Joe, AJ Styles and Abyss are capable of being stars. What a pathetic statement you made about building TNA to push young stars who deserve it. I’ll tell you the reason Jeff Jarrett wanted to create TNA, Jeff wants to create TNA to make money and to put himself over. Period. Now TNA can’t be making much money that’s for sure so he failed on that count. As for getting over; Jeff is an upper mid carder at best, he could call himself the King of the Mountain or the King of the Mole Hill but the fact is he cannot draw, and that is the goddamn motherfucking truth.

Jeff Jarett is privileged, back in his teens he was already driving a Mercedes Benz. He didn’t have to prove anything to get anywhere; his daddy is a wrestling promoter and owner of a construction company. I ain’t making this shit up. Go look it up TNA marks.

His return promo was dull and dead. And you know what the funniest part of it all was? After he goes into all this talk about the young blood and everything. He brings in 40+ year old Mick Foley to fight Kurt Angle at Bound for Glory. Fucking pathetic. The segment was so forced. Just look at the way Mick said: “Wow this place is something” Shit. Everyone knows that the TNA set can’t possibly compare with WWE’s. Shit Mick didn’t even look authentic when he did his Bang Bang.

Brooke Knows Shit

It’s a shame that my first claim to shame never made it to the light of day because of the LOP reboot. Before the reboot I was known for my non stop assault on the talent less piece of shit called Bobby Ashley but I’m not going to let my second infamous LOP Forum column go unread. My claim to fame the reason why I was on the main page last month is now printed here in it’s entirety enjoy:

Brooke Hogan Should Be Brutally Raped:

The singer - the daughter of Linda Bollea and her ex-husband Hulk Hogan, real name Terry Bollea - has no desire to pursue a career in politics because she can’t control her raging hormones or PMS (premenstrual syndrome).

Brooke also thinks it would have been “crazy” if Hillary Clinton - who lost out to Barack Obama in the race to be named the Democrat presidential nominee - had become the first ever female US President.
She said on her new reality TV show Brooke Knows Best: “You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kind of crazy that a woman is running because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff.

“Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, because I would be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, you know?”

This is the latest shit that Brooke Hogan has to offer the fucking world. Let me tell you what Brooke. Shut your fucking mouth you fucking privileged bitch. This latest comment proves that you know nothing of this world. I am absolutely sick people.

I mean I am sick of fucking princess slut’s like Brooke who think that they are so smart. Fuck you, you 5 dollar whore. If not for your fucking father, you’d be lucky to get a job at McDonalds. Do you know what you are you fucking bitch. You are one those privileged little bitches who think that you know all that there is to know in life already.

The only fucking reason bitch, that people give a shit about you is because of your dad and his lust for you. You fucking skanky whore. I pray for the day that you get end up being fucked in the ass by big black guys with monster dicks for a bag of coke. You will amount to a hill of shit. You no talent Paris Hilton wanna be.

Fuck you, you suck so much, you give Paris Hilton a bad name. You have the fucking audacity to put on your fucking my space when your brother got thrown in jail that you are pissed that the truth was not presented in court. What is the fucking truth that you know bitch, that you can’t sing for shit. That without your Dad, you’d probably end up being a no name porn slut coke doing junky whore.

Shit I hate you so much that I pray that your brother gets ass raped. Yes that’s what I’m gonna do now. “Oh dear baby Jesus in heaven, hallo be thy name. I pray that Nick Hogan gets raped in the ass.” You may wonder why I do not wish for Whore Hogan to get raped in the ass herself. It’s simple, the dumb bitch would enjoy it.

Take a serious look at her people, tell me how different she looks from other wannabe’s in Hollywood. She is a dime a dozen. Blonde, chubby looking chick with no talent. I hate fucking whores who think they know it all. I pray that her show gets canceled. Than lets see where she ends up. I pray that her fucking bitch father rapes her in bed. Brooke Hogan deserves to be fucked by dogs and horses only, until her fucking cunt bleeds.

I pray that Brooke gets into wrestling. I hope that she tries to do a maneuver from the top rope and end up falling onto the fucking ring post pussy first. I want to see her fucking pussy bleed. Brooke Hogan deserves to never know what pleasures a women should be able to feel. She deserves to never know what an orgasm is. She deserves to have her pussy eaten out by the Boogeyman like he did with Jillian Halls thing on her face. What a fucked up little bitch she has become.

I’m not a huge fan of Clinton’s but for this cunt face to even dare speak about politics when all that she knows is boys and tampons. Fuck you smelly hole. I hope you get raped by Bobby Lashley and Mark Henry at the same time.

In fact this is how it’s going to go down. Bobby Lashley would fucking eat your pussy out while you scream with pleasure, because despite the fact that you are being fucking raped, you do like the sensation, however the horror really begins when Mark Henry comes in and fucks you missionary style, the shear weights of his body ought to crack your fucking cheap white trash whore ribs.

The greatest insult would come later as a bound and gagged Hulk Hogan is wheeled in by Bobby Lashley to witness your punishment, albeit with no pants on. As Hogan watches the two black Adonis take their turns on you, you will look on in horror as you watch Hulk’s usually shriveled up penis throbbing with excitement.

When the two black beasts are done with you, they give you a choice, either fuck your old man, or they will slit his throat. You of course being the bitch that you are refuses to save you old man’s life, but the two black beasts force open your legs as Hulk gleefully fucks you like till he comes in your smelly pussy. If there is a god you should then be impregnated with Hulk’s Incestuous seed.
That is the punishment that you deserve Brooke Hogan. Your show ought to be called, Brooke Knows Shit.

It’s been almost two months since this column came out and Brooke has managed to shut her trap for a bit. But stupidity could just not be hidden. Brooke was asked recently who Sarah Palin was, and Brooke to her eternal credit did not know who she was. Brooke was also recently asked who Dick Cheney was and yeah you guessed it. She didn’t know this as well, and this is the daughter of the supposed Real American Hulk Hogan.

All feedback is appreciated and please send them to dilnaylomo@yahoo.co.uk

DaveyBoy’s Wrestling Menu - HBK DVD Review + HBK’s Retirement?

THE WRESTLING MENU #282

Welcome one and all to the 282nd edition of The Wrestling Menu, the column that is sure to satisfy your taste buds when it comes to discussing all things wrestling.

I think it has been almost a year since I last served up a DVD Review for you all and while they are not always my most popular columns, I do often get thanks from readers who have made purchasing decisions partially based on my reviews. Time has clearly been a major issue for me here (especially since most worthwhile WWE DVD’s nowadays are 3 discs & 9 hours long), but with a weekend or two spare of late, I have been able to get through the relatively new Shawn Michaels 3 disc set. And today obviously sees the first part of my review of that particular release, before it concludes in my next column.

Furthermore, for those looking for something other than a DVD review, I will use the ‘Dessert’ section of today’s column to speak briefly about a possible upcoming retirement for Shawn Michaels.

Before I get started, I have another little update on the Canadian prize situation that I have discussed briefly over the past 2 weeks. ‘Wrestling Menu’ reader James sends word that one of the main reasons why the law was established was for taxation purposes. Apparently, if something is earned, as opposed to won, the taxation rate is significantly reduced. Who said Canadians weren’t a clever bunch!?!?!?

On with the show-stopping show…..

‘SHAWN MICHAELS’ DVD REVIEW

As already insinuated, this is a 3 disc set & its full title is ‘The Shawn Michaels Story: Heartbreak & Triumph’. As per usual with most WWE DVDs, it has a documentary portion which lasts 123 minutes (containing over 30 chapters), some non-match extras (including stories, deleted scenes & promos), as well as a number of matches which are shown in full. And yes, there are even some Easter Eggs for those with a keen eye (or a printed out version of my review).

APPETIZERS - Documentary

The documentary portion of this DVD opens with the usual childhood reflections by his parents. Shawn got drawn into watching wrestling at approximately 12 years of age and often attended local wrestling shows (to the dismay of his parents) with a friend. The 2 also emulated their heroes everywhere from in their pool to their school gym & football field. Michaels started college, but it wasn’t for him & he eventually talked his dad into letting him train & work for SouthWest Championship Wrestling. It wasn’t long later that he then moved to the larger Mid-South territory where he worked predominantly as a jobber, but at least it was against some of the best wrestlers in the country.

The next territory Shawn worked was in Kansas City and this was where he met eventual longtime tag-team partner Marty Jannetty. In 1986, the team hit AWA as The Midnight Rockers and many current & former stars put over how fast, entertaining & ahead-of-their-time the team was as they took double-teaming to a new level. The 2 soon became #1 contenders and eventually feuded with champions Buddy Rose & Doug Somers for almost a year before winning the titles.

Pat Patterson was the WWE employee who was eventually won over by Shawn & Marty, so he brought them across to the east coast. Unfortunately, the stay was extremely short as a Jimmy Jack Funk backstage story got out of hand and Vince McMahon fired the 2 new guys. This caused Shawn’s life to spiral downwards and he admits that he began taking drugs and even contemplated suicide. Kicking around the independents, The Midnight Rockers knew there was only one place to make it big, so they went through the proper channels & soon ended up back in the WWF. The likes of Chris Jericho, Triple H & Arn Anderson explain how exciting the now named Rockers were and how good a feud with The Brainbusters (Anderson & Tully Blanchard) turned out. Shawn & Marty were soon booked to win the titles over The Hart Foundation, but the top-rope broke during the bout & Vince eventually pretended as if the match did not take place.

We next see the infamous Barber Shop segment where Shawn turned heel on Marty in what was still to this day one of the best heel turns of all time. Pat Patterson then had the idea to pair Sensational Sherri with him, an idea Michaels did not like at all initially. But he now sees that it was a stroke of genius that propelled him to new heights. The 2 soon began playing with their characters and The Heartbreak Kid moniker was born! After consolidating his midcard position, HBK won the InterContinental Title in November 1992 from Davey Boy Smith. To consolidate his position even further, Shawn had the idea to bring in Kevin Nash (then working in WCW as Vinnie Vegas) as his bodyguard. Unfortunately, Michaels soon failed a drug test & was suspended, but Shawn’s ego did not allow him to return the IC Tile to Vince. Razor Ramon won a tournament (& different IC Title belt) and upon Shawn’s return, the 2 had their classic ladder match at WrestleMania 10, which we see highlights of.

The next chapter speaks on the backstage group known as The Clique (HBK, Razor, Diesel, Triple H & 1-2-3 Kid). They were close friends in real life & began causing some trouble for the company. But they were all top stars so what could WWF do? During this period, Shawn got beat up at a bar which ultimately resulted in a concussion angle being played out on air to give him some time off. Upon return, he won The Royal Rumble leading up to the infamous WrestleMania 12 Iron Man match where Michaels defeated Bret Hart to win the WWF Championship. Of course, things were about to change big time in the professional wrestling industry as Kevin Nash & Scott Hall were about to spearhead a defection to WCW. This resulted in the infamous Curtain Call incident at a Madison Square Garden house show, which resulted in Triple H being penalized by Vince McMahon with a demotion.

Following a look at Shawn’s proud moment of wrestling at the recently opened AlamoDome in his hometown of San Antonio, we take a look at the controversial period where a knee injury apparently resulted in HBK forfeiting the title after the infamous “I lost my smile” speech. Of course, the rumor was that Michaels did not want to drop the title back to Bret Hart. Michaels neither confirms or denies this rumor on this DVD. Upon return, HBK wrestled the first ever Hell In A Cell match against The Undertaker and we see highlights of some of the big spots from that match here.

WCW was now beating the WWF in the television ratings and Shawn’s idea to kick-start his company back to the top was the formation of D-Generation X (initially Shawn, Triple H, Chyna & Rick Rude). Vince & JR suggest that DX were almost uncontrollable at the time and the USA network were receiving public complaints due to what they were doing on-screen. This only fueled DX’s fire and they took their antics to new levels, which eventually won over the fans and finally Vince McMahon.

If there was anything more controversial than DX, then it had to be the infamous Montreal Screwjob. I won’t go over the facts here as every wrestling fan should already know about it by now. It is thankfully well covered here and a few extra facts are made clearer on this DVD. Man, I still clearly remember watching that show live and rewinding the videotape back over & over again to see what exactly had occurred. Anyway, moving on, Michaels did not hold the title much longer due to a back injury sustained during a Casket Match against The Undertaker at The Royal Rumble. This resulted in his eventual defeat to ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin at WrestleMania 14 when Mike Tyson basically turned on HBK.

Shawn struggled without life at the top and he once more turned to drugs. Even when he found love and married WCW Nitro Girl Whisper and had a child with her, he continued to take drugs to a dangerous extent. At this stage, Shawn and his wife tell a story of the incident at home that made him take stock of his life. His wife got him into bible study and the rest was history as Michaels became a born-again Christian. We even hear from his pastors here!

We then fast-forward to 2002 and Shawn’s amazing return match against Triple H at SummerSlam. He surprised everyone with how good he was in that bout, including himself. A few months later, Michaels took part in the first ever Elimination Chamber match and surprisingly won the World Title, something he never thought possible over the last few years. But there were even more great matches to come and one of them was the ‘fan vs idol’ bout against Chris Jericho at WrestleMania 19. It was this bout that finally convinced HBK that he could return to WWE on a full-time basis.

The next thing on Shawn’s ‘To-Do’ list was a feud against the immortal Hulk Hogan. It was a difficult feud to pull off as Vince, Shawn & Bruce Prichard suggest it was always difficult to find the correct balance of heel & face in Shawn’s character at the time. We see clips of the hilarious “Brother, Brother, Brother” Larry King segment and then hear how the Hulkster was really not liking all that was going on behind the scenes and would not lose to Michaels in their eventual match-up. Onwards & upwards Shawn went and come WrestleMania 22 his opponent would be none other than his boss Vince McMahon. Many in-the-know commend Michaels here for how good of a match he got out of a 62 year old non-wrestler. Of course, it ultimately resulted in the silly God feud, which even HBK failed to save!

2006 also saw the return of D-Generation X and their trademark brand of immature humor. Of course, this was always going to be difficult for Shawn, since he was now very religious. The return was hit & miss but very popular, as JR & Jericho suggest it really could be drawn on any time in the future & still be a hit with the fans. Following a look at HBK’s WrestleMania 23 main-event match against John Cena in front of 80,000+ in attendance in Detroit, we close this documentary portion of the DVD by having the likes of Cena, Jericho, Triple H, JR & Vince discuss how good Shawn Michaels really has been and whether or not he is in fact the greatest professional wrestler that has ever lived!

ENTREE – Disc-1 Extras

PROMOS

Heartbreak Hotel – Raw (April-4 1994): The 3 minute debut of Shawn’s Heartbreak Hotel interview segment where he & Diesel pretty much introduce the segment and then waffle on about Razor Ramon.

Tell Me A Lie Music Video: This was the sappy music video highlighting some of HBK’s career achievements that WWE played over & over again whenever Shawn took an extended break from the ring. 3 minutes in length.

Larry King Spoof – Raw (August-1 2005): The full 8 minute segment shown on Raw where Shawn impersonates Hulk Hogan hilariously on The Larry King Show. Pure gold and obviously a bit close to home for Hogan in real life. It also includes a great little HBK highlights package and Hogan feud recap.

DELETED SCENES

Wrestling Academy: Following back surgery, Michaels trained a group of wrestlers for a couple of years. The batch included Brian Kendrick, Lance Cade & Bryan Danielson. 2 minutes in length and probably should have been included on the documentary proper.

Bible Teacher: 2 minutes worth of extra information regarding Shawn’s religion and work with teenagers at his church.

Colorado Expedition: A further extension of Shawn’s religious mentoring saw him take a few teenage boys on a 10 day mountain climb. 2 minutes in length.

Who’s The Greatest Wrestler?: Another segment that should have been on the documentary proper, this DVD Extra documents Shawn’s WrestleMania 21 match against Kurt Angle. A fantastic match, many highlights are shown and it is stressed by many, including Shawn himself, that HBK really felt like he had to step up on the night and that was very much what he did. 4 minutes in length.

STORIES

High School Prankster: A 1 minute long story told by his mother regarding Shawn’s stealing of an opposition sign & getting ID’d by his jersey number that he was wearing!

High School Talent Show: Told by his friend, this is a 2 minute story detailing the wrestling match Shawn put on for his senior year talent show.

Letter Jacket: A rather boring 2 minute story told by Shawn regarding how he gained a letter jacket & used it to his advantage.

Mom’s Approval: An amusing story contributed to by Shawn’s mother & Marty Jannetty detailing some of the outfits The Rockers used to wear & how HBK used to always call his mother for approval.

The Bruise: An extension of a chapter on the documentary proper, Marty tells a story of how The Rockers once bruised themselves by constantly rubbing a towel on their face. It was eventually for no reason as the angle was not used. 2 minutes in length.

The Rockers Fight: A fascinating little-known story told by Marty who claims that ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper once provoked The Rockers into a fight against each other that was so bad that the police got called in. Thankfully, ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage smoothed things over with the police, explaining it away as rehearsing for a match. HBK almost quit after this incident & Marty calls it the beginning of the end for the tag-team. 3 minutes in length.

This Is A Little Higher Than I Thought: Shawn recounts the WrestleMania streetfight against Vince and how HBK did not want the 16 foot ladder used, yet that was what happened to be placed under the ring during the bout.

Brown Pants: Triple H & Chris Jericho amusingly tell the story of how they lied to HBK that his brown tights looked good at Survivor Series 2002.

MAIN – Disc-2 Matches

SHAWN MICHAELS vs BILLY (JACK) HAYNES (WCCW. January 11, 1985): Shawn is actually introduced as “Sean Nichol” and “from Georgia” here, while there was no ‘Jack’ when “Billy Haynes” was introduced. Michaels is playing the show-boating heel in this early bout and when he pulls off a moonsault for no reason at all, Haynes locks him up in his trademark full-nelson and it’s all over prior to the 2 minute mark. Short squash match which was a decent early look at Michaels I suppose. Match Rating… 3

THE MIDNIGHT ROCKERS vs BUDDY ROSE & DOUG SOMERS (AWA. February 10, 1987): After almost a year of The Rockers chasing the tag champs, they finally win the titles here in this bout. Lots of stalling by the heel champs initially, predominantly to increase the incredible heat they received at the time. Shawn is then way too quick for both opponents, as the challengers dazzle the crowd with their speed & high-flying double-teaming. It isn’t long until the heels (along with valet Sherri Martel) use under-handed tactics to gain control though and they methodically pick apart Jannetty with rather standard action. Michaels finally gets tagged in, but his up-tempo flurry of offense is disappointingly brief and it is he who then plays the face-in-peril for minutes on end.

Thankfully, a couple of very good HBK counters leading to 2 counts are sporadically thrown in to keep the fans on the edges of their seat, but for the most part it is all the heel champions. They finally go for the kill with a DDT & pile-driver, but Michaels keeps resiliently kicking out at 2.5. The near-falls come thick & fast and this is almost a version of rope-a-dope. The hot tag eventually comes to Marty and he cleans house. A top-rope double-team maneuver then gets the job done after 20 minutes. Following the amazing series these 2 teams had, this bout was actually a little disappointing (check out ‘From The Vault’ or ‘AWA: Blood On The Sand’ for better bouts). However, this is still pretty solid, if overlong and containing too much heel offense. The pop for the exciting final minute was definitely well-deserved though. Match Rating… 7

THE MIDNIGHT ROCKERS vs SUPER NINJA & NINJA GO (AWA. June 12, 1987): This match was for The Rockers’ AWA TagTitles and the challengers are rather big guys who wear masks that cover all but their eyes. Shawn makes both of them look silly initially as he runs rings around them at an incredibly fast pace. Jannetty continues the face momentum and there is also some crowd-popping double-teaming thrown in there for good measure. It actually is not until about the 8 minute mark where the heel team gets any sort of sustained offense. When they do, it is constant under-handed cheating with the referee struggling to keep control of the 4 participants. The action hardly lets up, with only a sleeper-hold resembling a lengthy resthold.

Following a chaotic sequence at ringside, Michaels begins slapping his partner, which seems to be their version of hulking up! It is enough to allow the hot tag to Shawn who cleans house, eventually leading to some terrific back & forth action, before the faces get the pinfall victory with a double super-kick at the 17 minute mark. Wow… What a secret gem of a bout this was! An interesting structure saw the faces entertainingly dominate for a lot longer than usual, while there was always something involving happening while the heels were in control. Very impressive by all concerned, even though the 2 Japanese didn’t exactly look like solid technicians inside the ring. Match Rating… 8.5

THE ROCKERS vs THE BRAINBUSTERS (WWF. January 23, 1989): This appeared to be a simple Madison Square Garden house show bout and for those unaware, The Brainbusters are Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson. Arn looks incredibly agile in getting his a$$ kicked in the opening minutes of the match, while his cocky veteran heel tactics actually fire The Rockers up to prove themselves. An excellent sequence just short of the 6 minute mark sees the youngsters totally take The Brainbusters by surprise and a succession of moves ends with stereo super-kicks sending the heels to ringside. When the match breaks down soon after, the result is similar as The Rockers excitingly hit drop-kicks to assert their supremacy. The action hardly lets up and it is not until the 9 minute mark when the heels gain control by setting up a ringside trap.

The heel team then writes the manual on cheating to keep control of the offense, but it is thankfully in amongst occasional offensive flurries to keep the action moving. Arn pulls out his huge spine-buster for a 2 count, but Shawn gets the hot tag to Marty soon after, who predictably cleans house. In the ensuing chaos, Marty suplexes Blanchard, but Arn sweeps Jannetty’s leg for a 3 count after 16 minutes. Not too dissimilar to the Ninjas match both in structure & content, this had the added bonus of including the professionals that were Arn & Tully, while also including a slightly better mix of all styles of wrestling. The cheap finish was a little disappointing though. Match Rating… 8.5

THE ROCKERS vs THE HART FOUNDATION (WWF. October 1990): This was the infamous ‘2 out of 3 Falls’ match for the Hart’s tag-team titles, where Shawn & Marty won the belts for the first time, only to have the reign ignored & voided due to what occurred during the bout. There is no commentary provided here and in addition to that, this is not helped by the fact that the crowd was pretty quiet for the most part. Bret & Marty begin with some standard back & forth stuff, but the action really hots up when the pace of Michaels meets the strength of The Anvil. The Rockers use some nice double-team moves to simultaneously impress & frustrate the champions, but it isn’t for long as Neidhart gets a 2 count with a power-slam & then Bret gets the same result numerous times over with his usual set-up moves plus a pile-driver. The lack of a successful cover frustrates Bret to no end and as he begins to argue with the referee, Shawn is able to tag out to Jannetty, who ends up countering a sunset-flip for the first pinfall after 9 minutes.

The Harts dominate the action for the opening minutes of the 2nd fall, but The Rockers are able to make it a 2 on 2 in the ring for a while. In the ensuing chaos, Anvil misses a charge to the corner and it appears to be this which causes the top-rope to break on one side of the ring. The leads to Bret slowing the action down with resthold after resthold as the wrestlers attempt to keep away from the damaged side of the ring. The bout literally treads water for minutes on end until The Hart Foundation even things up with their double-team Hart Attack finisher at the 19 minute mark. In the moments leading up to the final fall, Bret is clearly upset with the way the referee handled things relating to the top-rope incident and a break is taken to re-attach it.

The Harts begin where they left off as Bret looks genuinely annoyed scoring with some stiff European Upper-Cuts to Shawn, before withstanding a Rockers double-team to come out on top of a lazy looking running of the ropes. This results in the champs isolating Marty to their advantage. They then set up the Hart Attack, but Shawn drop-kicks Jannetty on to The Anvil for the decisive pinfall after 24 minutes. I think Bret must have known this match could end up a Shawn Michaels DVD some time in the future as he was predominantly to blame for this bout not reaching its potential. Bret was most put off by the broken rope & then seemed rather uninterested during the final fall. It is a shame as the 1st fall was very good and there were glimpses of what these 4 guys could do scattered elsewhere. Overall though, this was only fairly good and nothing to write home about. Match Rating… 7

THE ROCKERS vs THE ORIENT EXPRESS (WWF Royal Rumble. January 19, 1991): The Mr Fuji-managed Orient Express were made up of Pat Tanaka & Kato, who attacked the faces before the bell while The Rockers were playing to the crowd. But it isn’t long until The Rockers were double-teaming their way to control with stereo suicide dives appearing early. Strangely, Marty heads for headlock city very early, but the resultant counters & reversals that occur are impressively crisp & entertaining. Similar action occurs no matter which duo is opposed, with another early highlight being Tanaka’s sensational looking flying chop during a running of the ropes. HBK has a sleeper-hold broken up by a double-teaming & the heels take control for a moment before HBK pulls out a moonsault from nowhere. The Rockers then dazzle the crowd with a double drop-kick & then hit stereo cross body-blocks from the top-rope to the floor! A nice underhanded double-team move to block a HBK monkey-flip shifts the momentum once more as Fuji’s cane even makes a cameo.

A heel resthold follows for far too long, before Shawn answers the crowd and is able to withstand the onslaught with an excellent counter to a belt-assisted double-team that sees The Orient Express knock heads. The hot tag to Jannetty follows & seemingly everyone in the arena lose their voice as Marty cleans house with slams, drop-kicks & a power-slam for a 2 count. The 2 faces then super-kick Kato and are able to withstand a heel comeback by finishing things off at the 19 minute mark with a perfectly executed slingshot sunset-flip. This was a fantastic bout that is one of those often forgotten pay-per-view openers which is worthy of being a main-event match. Everything was just so darn crisp & natural here, with many moves looking rather realistic as the heels impressed just as much as the faces. The live crowd should also be praised as they overcame the occasional slow patches in this bout that was probably 2-3 minutes overlong. Ultimately, this was very impressive. Match Rating… 9

SHAWN MICHAELS vs THE BRITISH BULLDOG (WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event. November 8, 1992): This was the match where HBK won the InterContinental Title fpr the very first time. Davey Boy shows his greater strength in the opening minutes as he first dead-lifts out of HBK’s arm-bar attempt, then press-slams him and finally clotheslines Shaw to the outside. Michaels attempts to quicken things up, but he continuously gets out-muscled by The Bulldog until sending the IC Champ to ringside & sneakily loosening a turnbuckle pad. The heel challenger then strikes with knees to the back before locking in an abdominal stretch twice.

The finishing sequence then sees Bulldog get 2 counts off of an impressive offensive flurry that has the crowd in raptures, but HBK Irish-whips Davey Boy into the exposed turnbuckle. A subsequent superplex attempt by the British champion sees his back collapse & HBK falls on top of Bulldog from the top-rope for the pinfall victory after 11 minutes (excluding commercial time). Pretty much a prototypical spotlighted television match that was very good, but saw neither man able to combine the storyline of the bout with their talent due to the short duration. A few too many slow spots existed here, while the finish almost seemed anti-climactic, if not necessarily predictable. This would have been better placed on that year’s Survivor Series card with some extra minutes, but Vince obviously wanted to see Bret vs Shawn that soon. Match Rating… 7

1995 ROYAL RUMBLE (WWF. January 27, 1995): It is super important to note that the intervals of entry in this particular Rumble were only one minute each. That is important as HBK is the very first entrant here & ‘The British Bulldog’ Davey Boy Smith is #2. Michaels attacks before the bell, but the Bulldog is too strong & has the better of the opening minute. Various jobbers… & Doink The Clown… follow every minute, with Rick Martel entering 10th and only one wrestler being eliminated when he gets in the ring. Owen Hart is then scheduled to enter at #11, but his brother Bret attacks him before he has a chance to, and he gets immediately eliminated upon entry into the squared circle. This kick-starts a succession of eliminations that leave only HBK & Bulldog in the ring! King Kong Bundy & Mabel then enter 15th & 17th respectively to add a whole lot of beef to this Rumble, with Mabel coming out on top. The big fella & The Bulldog then target HBK, but Lex Luger makes the save & eliminates Mabel.

The best gimmick of all time (not really folks) Mantaur then enters at #20 with a whole bunch of tag-team wrestlers following that (includes the likes of The Smoking Gunns & Henry Goodwin). Bob Backlund is entrant #25, but he also falls victim to a Bret Hart attack. By the way, Bret was angry at interference from both Owen & Backlund earlier in the night during his WWF Championship match against Diesel. Anyway, more jobbers enter with Adam Bomb, Fatu (aka Rikishi) & Crush being the last 3 to hit the ring. The eliminations then come slowly & painfully, with the eventual final 4 being HBK, Bulldog, Luger & Crush. Luger is first to go as Michaels blindsides him and then makes a deal to double-team Bulldog. Crush backstabs him though, but is soon eliminated by a Bulldog clothesline that was meant for Shawn!

This leaves the #1 & #2 entrants into the Rumble as the final 2 participants remaining! Bulldog thinks he has it won quickly (with his entrance theme even playing) when he clotheslines Michaels over the top-rope. But it seems that only one of HBK’s feet touched the floor (a fact later backed up on replay) & Shawn soon re-enters the ring to knock a celebrating Davey Boy off of the top-rope for the Rumble victory following 38 minutes of action. While Rumbles are always fun to watch and this was no exception, it was pretty much purely for nostalgic reasons here. Many of the participants were nothing more than 2nd rate tag-team wrestlers, while there were very few built-in storylines apart from the obvious Shawn/Bulldog one, as well as the 2 Bret Hart attacks. The fact that the intervals of entry had been shortened definitely did not help that last weakness and also didn’t allow too much to occur that wasn’t so chaotic that it was almost indefinable. I will be nice with the rating though just because Rumbles are simply so fun to watch back in the future. Match Rating… 7.5

DESSERT - HBK’s Retirement

Just in case this gets confusing, this is NOT part of the ‘Heartbreak & Triumph’ DVD Review above. I will be back next week with the final part of that DVD Review, but just thought I would include something different for your reading pleasure in today’s column

Over the past couple of months I have actually had a variation of the same question asked of me during feedback sent to me via email. The question would be something similar to: Do you think Shawn Michaels’ recent habit of taking weeks and/or months away from WWE programming is a hint that he may be winding his career down and he could actually retire some time in 2009, possibly at WrestleMania 25…???

It is a decent question and one which could be seen as fact when looking at it from one perspective. But I actually look at it from completely the opposite direction. Similarly to what The Undertaker has been doing over the past couple of years, I see HBK’s regular breaks as a sign that he is not contemplating retirement any time soon. He is simply giving his body the sufficient time to heal for one reason and one reason alone; To prolong his career.

Yes folks, I actually feel that we could still be seeing Shawn Michaels hamming it up in the squared circle come WrestleMania 30! While that may seem like it is pushing it a little (and it probably is), it would not surprise me at all to see HBK going out on a big note at the 30th anniversary of the event that he has made such a huge splash at over his 20+ year career.

The only thing which may impede Shawn Michaels’ progress to such a large-scale retirement are genuine injuries. His recent arm muscle example is exactly the kind of injury which could derail him as it predominantly comes about due to wear & tear, while meaning a significant layoff from the ring. A succession of similar types of injuries may end in HBK reading the writing on the wall somewhere along the line and calling it quits.

The positive in all this is that I now think that Vince McMahon knows exactly how important Shawn Michaels is to his product. Always reliable and still able to perform a top quality match no matter who is standing opposite to him in the ring, Vince will want this safety net around in his company for as long as practically possible. It is a not so dissimilar situation with The Undertaker, who simply always gets a great crowd reaction and puts bums in seats. Because of this, McMahon will be more open to allowing Shawn Michaels the schedule he requires to prolong his career as best as possible.

And so he should too. Some, including myself, already consider HBK to be the greatest professional wrestler of all time. Add another 5 or so years of wrestling at the current high standard that he is to his legacy and he may well have just won over a further significant percentage. That is befitting someone who has remained so loyal to WWE and fought back from so much adversity.

Ok, so there is part-1 of the HBK DVD review out of the way. If I can, may I ask you to hold back any feedback regarding it until after my next column. This may actually give me a little time to complete my pending emails from columns past that I am still behind on. Just in case you cannot wait, my e-mail address is DaveyBoy123@bigpond.com, but if you are an LOP Forums member, it would be much appreciated if you could leave feedback on my thread at http://www.lopforums.com/showthread.php?t=159

In all honesty, I have yet to view the 3rd disc of the HBK DVD set and with a busy weekend upcoming, I will probably have to take next Wednesday off from column-writing so that I can complete my review come the 1st of October. By that time, I will also have another pay-per-view to predict. So my column will be posted at the same Wednesday time on the same LOP channel in a fortnight’s time. Until then, this is DaveyBoy signing off & asking you to remember that dinner is best served in 3 courses.

And remember that DaveyBoy’s Album Reviews can be viewed at: http://www.sputnikmusic.com/user_reviews.php?memberid=268913

Shop WWE Columns - Ask Your Ayatollah - 9/8/08

Hey there, kids, and welcome back to yet another fun filled edition of Ask Your Ayatollah. The response to the debut was pretty good, I must say. Most everyone seemed to like it alright, and I got more email and general feedback off of it than I ever got back when I was rocking All About the Game on the LoP main page a few years back. So yeah, that was spiffy, and I do very much thank every single one of you who read it, with a special tip of my rockin’ Alice in Chains hat to those of you who took the time to tell me so.

I do hope that life has been good for all of you in the two weeks since we last got together. Been a rocky couple for the Toller, I must say. Some personal drama flaring up, and a bit of uncomfortableness here and there. Nothing I haven’t been able to handle, though, as lord knows I’ve seen worse. In the end, it’s all just made things better, in an oddly roundabout way. Life has been very good for Your Ayatollah for the past couple months. I’m tickled pink.

Tonight, though, I’m in a rare mood. Feeling it, if you will. Thus, I’ll cut with the chit chat and get right into the festivities at hand. Strong bunch of questions this time out, with a couple solid music questions tossed my way, a fairly epic one that I’m thinking I’ll tackle at the end, and the very, very welcome return of a long missed name from my past. I do believe this shall be fun.

We’ll kick off the playlist tonight with Addicted by Saving Abel. Yeah, we will.

Back to the front.

Remember that long missed name from my past I mentioned? We’re going to kick it off with him. The one, the only, the legendary…

1,000,000 BC says…
I might as well chuck in a question seeing as you’ve decided people care about your opinions and all. With ‘Mania headed your way in ‘09, any thoughts on a potential Steve Austin match? Opponents, angles, will it/won’t it?

Man, I love Steve Austin. Always have, since before he was Stone Cold, back in his Stunning days, running around with Paul E. and the Dangerous Alliance. It would be all sorts of awesome to see the Texas Rattlesnake make his WrestleMania return and have that one big last match that he so richly deserves here in his home state of Texas, and I would be all over it, man.

Unfortunately, I just don’t see it going down. I would hope he would make an appearance of some sort, but a match? Nope, not gonna happen. I mean, honestly, who could he face? Orton would probably be the best candidate, with the whole Legend Killer thing and all that, but I don’t see why they would have Randall lay down for Austin. Of course, Austin could just lay down for Orton…..but yeah, that ain’t happening. Nor should it, in my estimation, as I think Stone Cold deserves to go out with those middle fingers raised to the air in victory.

Hogan? I know it’s perhaps the fanboy dream match to end all dream matches, and that they’ve even hinted towards it here and there, most notably at the Hall of Fame a few years back. Let’s get real here, though, kids. It ain’t going to happen. Again, slowly. It. Ain’t. Going. To. Happen. First of all it would cost a fortune to get those two even on the card, let alone in the ring with each other. Second, neither of them would do the job for the other. (would? by alice in chains) Ego is what it is, and they’ve both got healthy ones. Austin has gone on record as saying that he thinks the Hulkster is a “piece of trash”, and you just know it eats Hogan alive that Steve is now routinely referred to as the biggest superstar in the history of the business. Even with that being as asinine a statement as it is.

Who else is there? Cena? Maybe, but really? Is anyone REALLY dying to see Austin vs Cena? I’m alright with both dudes, with an admittedly large preference towards SCSA, and even I would be hard pressed to come up with a good reason to want to see that go down. Batista? Frankly, Steve deserves better than that. Those who saw the HoF this year may say Rocky, even, but uh uh, don’t think so. We’ve seen that three times at Mania already, and as much as I’d love to see him come back, our pal Dwayne would be a damn fool to give up his phat movie cash to do the training and such necessary to make any sort of return to the ring worthwhile.

So no, I don’t see Austin wrestling at WrestleMania this year. Nor do I really see Austin ever wrestling again, for that matter. A stray Stunner here and there, perhaps a few Steveweisers on a special occasion, maybe even a guest referee spot or something. For all intents and purposes, though, that walk up the aisle at WM 19 was the last of Steve Austin’s professional wrestling career. Wish I could say it ain’t so, but then, I’d rather have a healthy sometimes Rattlesnake appearance over him rolling around in a wheelchair.

Thank you, BC. (walk on water by ozzy osbourne) It was fucking excellent to hear from you, and I sincerely hope it wasn’t just a one time deal. Shoo-dee-doo-bop-ba-dow, indeed.

Matt asks…
Are you..How do they say? GAY!

Is it sad that I get joy out of making other people angry?

No, not last I checked. Let me check again right quick…..ah, as I suspected. Still no.

I don’t suppose I’m the one who should be answering that second question, as it’s frankly up to the readers to determine what is and isn’t worthy of inclusion on the Lords of Pain main page. Sure, they don’t put us here, but they damn sure keep us here. As yours was the only real complaint I saw tossed my way, I would wager the guess that it’s quality enough.

And yes. Yes, that is sad.

Bencif asks…
What do you think are the chances of Jericho getting the WWE or World Heavyweight title again? Also how do you see the rest of his career going?

Guess I should have gotten off my ass last weekend to write a column, huh? Well, given the way Unforgiven turned out, My Ayatollah’s chances at World title glory are quite obviously pretty good, as he is, once again, the World Heavyweight Champion. Sorry I didn’t get to that question before it went down, Ben. (suck my kiss by red hot chili peppers) Though I’d have said he would get it again, anyways.

As to the rest of his career, I see it going quite well, actually. This recent heel turn has been fucking brilliant, sir, just brilliant. With the exception of the little tights. Those are just wrong, man. So wrong that for his first World title match, I want to see Chris Jericho vs a full length mirror. Upon seeing how ricockulous he looks, he would surrender the title in disgust and begin work on his next book, A Lion’s Tale II: Around the World in Entirely Too Little Spandex.

But seriously, Jericho’s just too good to not excel for the rest of his in ring career, and I see no good reason that they would hold him back from doing so. While the roster isn’t exactly paper thin at moment or anything, Jericho very obviously stands out as one of the absolute best they’ve got. He always has, to a degree, but there’s no Austin, Rock, or Triple H around to overshadow him on RAW anymore. My Ayatollah will conclude his career brilliantly, in my opinion, and hopefully will do so a long, long time from now.

Thank you, sir. (touch too much by ac/dc)

The Freak, Himself asks…
Alot of the more popular wrestlers have run the gammut of very, well, unpopular gimmicks in the past that went over like a meat and cheese platter at a PETA meeting. Some, however, had gimmicks that were changed due to marketability, changing companies, or because someone thought it would help their career. Throughout time though, we’ve seen some of these gimmicks return to grandeur that was as high, and sometimes higher, than it was in the first place. When Mick Foley came back as Cactus Jack and tore Trips a new a-hole, for a good example. When Chris Daniels decided he wanted to be funny and brought Curry Man to TNA.

So, on to my question: Are their any old gimmicks you would like to see return today, or any that you think would have made it TODAY that failed horrible years ago?

Well, I spoke of Hakushi last time out, and I think that gimmick, which was brilliant, would work better in today’s environment. We’ve been over that, though, so I’ll move along.

Most gimmicks that have failed have done so for a reason. Namely, because they suck. I’d most assuredly not like to see Kane go back to Issac Yankem, DDS, or see a return to form for Big Show as the “son of Andre”. So I guess the answer is no, there aren’t any gimmicks that failed horribly in the past that I think would really make it today.

That said, there are a few gimmicks I’d like to see make a return from years gone by, with one that stands out in particular. Muhammad Hassan was an excellent heel character, and his run was cut short well, well before it should have been. If the reasoning behind the premature abandonment was any good, like if he wasn’t getting over or if he just straight up sucked, then I wouldn’t have beef with it. (rainbow in the dark by dio) But the Hassan character was, ironically, martyred due to unfair pressure applied by outsiders who had no real understanding of the world of professional wrestling.

I know it’s still a sore subject with some people, but let’s look at the facts, here. Hassan was just the most recent in a long line of foreign heels. After World War II we had Fritz Von Erich and Baron von Raschke. During the Cold War, there were Nikolai Volkoff and Nikita Koloff. Hell, Sgt. Slaughter during the original Gulf War stands out as perhaps the best example of the past 20 some odd years. A topical, controversial foreign heel character is nothing new.

And that’s all that Hassan was, for all intents and purposes. Used the same gimmicks we’d seen previously, like speaking in a foreign tongue via the afore mentioned Volkoff, or performing ceremonial “rituals” during his entrance via a Yokozuna or Mr. Fuji. And the thing that pisses me off about it is that he did it well. Really well. Perhaps too well.

Thus, people got pissed, (which is kinda the point), and the dude was shut down before he really got out of blocks. That guy would be a multiple time World champ by now, no doubt, and would have had a shot at going down as possibly the best heel of that type in the modern history of the business. (only by nine inch nails) Alas, it wasn’t meant to be, all because some suits who likely couldn’t pick the dude out of a lineup deemed it inappropriate. Apparently they can do stuff like that on 24 or in countless movies, but pro wrestling just isn’t allowed to tackle a sensitive issue. Which is why our favorite form of entertainment, friends, will always be viewed as little more than a sideshow attraction.

Thank you for a question that I probably just took entirely too seriously.

DaveyBoy asks…
Which member of New Kids On The Block do you think is most talented…???

Man, I came up back in the day, when NKOTB were The Shit. Yes, capitalized and everything. Giant buttons, t-shirts galore, Saturday morning cartoon shows, on and on and on and on. So yes, I’m not ashamed to say that I know a thing or two about them. Well, not too ashamed.

My favorite back in the day was Donnie Wahlberg, the “bad boy” of the group. As many know, he has since gone on to have a moderately successful acting career, breaking out a pretty damn good turn in Saw II and a brief but haunting performance in The Sixth Sense. Of course, his brother Marky Mark has vastly overshadowed everything he’s done. (swamped by lacuna coil) Boogie Nights alone is better than Donnie’s entire resume.

Really, though, considering how little we’ve heard from the rest of them since the group’s demise way on back in the day, I would say that Donnie is probably the most overall talented of the bunch. Best singer was probably Jordan, who actually managed a reasonably decent sized solo hit in the late ’90s. I always liked Joey, too, because he sounded every single bit of the 12 years old or whatever he was. Funny to hear that voice singing about some chick leaving and ruining his whole world. Please don’t go, girl.

I understand they’re getting back together, actually, which should pretty much tell you just how well they’ve all been doing since their split. For the record, the best thing to come out of the New Kids phenomenon is the sex tape scene featuring Ben Affleck in Mallrats.

Thanks, Davey. Keep hangin’ tough.

Jesus, that was lame.

Dan H. asks…
You mentioned in your most recent column that you were as shocked if not more so then myself with the Kane/Mysterio happenings on Raw. This is really just the most recent in a long line of surprises, starting with John Cena’s return at the Royal Rumble, moving on to the Draft and Punk’s title win, and now this. At first I thought it was great that the WWE was sending out new material for our viewing pleasure, but now it seems like they’re booking illogical stories simply to surprise people. Do you think this is the case?

To be honest, man, I was just talking to my good buddy Anthrax the other day about how it seemed almost as if they lost Kane’s old mask right before the bag segment was set to go on, and they just grabbed a Rey one from the merch stand to stick in there. It was just so fuckin’ random, you know? I joked about The Hurricane’s mask being in there last week, but damn, even that would have made more sense than Rey’s.

So yeah, it kinda does look like they’re doing nonsensical shit just to throw us off a bit, at least in terms of that one storyline. (the death song by marilyn manson) Aside from that one, though, I’d say all the other stuff they’ve done has been pleasantly surprising for the most part. The only other thing I can think of offhandedly that made as little sense as the Kane/Rey thing is the whole Adamle as GM bit, which I still think has been a damn fun storyline despite what someone else keeps telling me. Really, the dude just had incredible heat all by his lonesome, and it was a stroke of mild brilliance to put him in a position other than that of announcer, where he couldn’t really interact with the crowd to any real degree.

Anyways, on the front of the Kane storyline, I would lean towards them just being illogical to keep us on our toes. Everything else, though, has been pretty alright thus far. I just hope that the answer to the Mystery of Kane’s Sack isn’t an indicator of what’s to come.

Thank you kindly, sir.

Alright, this is the last one for this time around, and it’s kinda epic.

anonymous asks…
If you’re in for a bit of a challenge: List every member of the Raw Roster in the order of how important you feel they are to the company.

I’m always in for a bit of a challenge. Here goes nothing. (my girlfriend’s girlfriend by type o negative) I’ll take it in reverse order, from least important to most.

Deuce - Has this motherfucker even been on TV yet?

Snitsky - Um, yeah. But hey, it’s not his fault.

Ron Simmons - Only because I refused to rank him below the baby killer.

Val Venis - I love this dude, but he’s looked into more bright lights than Wayne Newton.

Paul London - I had hopes for this guy, but man, he’s just fucked.

Chuck Palumbo - He’s on RAW? I honestly didn’t even remember that shit.

Hardcore Holly - Is he still alive?

Hacksaw Jim Duggan - I got mad love for Hacksaw, but he’s little more than filler.

Primo Colon - Unproven, but at least he’s on TV, unlike most of the previously mentioned guys.

Layla - She don’t do shit but get Jamie’s ass kicked. Which I must admit is pretty fun.

Kelly Kelly - Same thing, only she’s actually “wrestled” a couple times.

D-Lo Brown - Dig him, but have a sneaking suspicion he’s the next Val.

Charlie Haas - Doesn’t do much, but has been entertaining lately.

Melina - Would be higher if she weren’t injured. But she is.

Paul Burchill - Had some potential, but that looks to be fading. I miss the pirate gimmick.

Lance Cade - Could be something, but it’s really too early to tell.

Jamie Noble - One of my favorite parts of the show. Love this guy.

Katie Lea - I dig her, but she hasn’t done a whole lot yet. More than her brother, though.

Candice - Been gone a while, but always good to see her. She’s just fun. But Christ, that music sucks.

William Regal - One of my all time favorites, but the time away hurt him.

Beth Phoenix - I dig this chick a lot, and she’s part of maybe the best thing going on the show with Glammarella.

Rhoades and Dibiase - These guys are going to be something special.

Cryme Tyme - More over than the previous tag team, but are still a tag team. Thus, not exactly integral to the show these days. (rush by poisonblack)

Rey Mysterio - Hasn’t done much yet, and really just kinda doesn’t fit in. Still, he’s hella over with kids and stuff.

Mickie James - Meh, she’s Mickie.

Kofi Kingston - This dude has all the potential in the world. Six months from now he will maybe be near the top of this list.

Santino Marella - That’s all that needs to be said, really.

JBL - I hate this prick, but he’s always in the mix.

Lilian Garcia - I mark for Lilian. Sue me.

Mike Adamle - Guy’s a fuckin’ trip.

Kane - I’d love to have him on top of the list. Alas, he’s not.

Batista - Still in the hunt at all times, but his time is kinda drawing to a close, I think.

CM Punk - I’m a big fan of this dude. He’s the future.

Shawn Michaels - RAW’s MVP for the past, like, five years, at least when he’s around. HBK is damn near untouchable.

Randy Orton - I hate this fucking cocksucker. But goddamn is he good. Fuckin’ dick with ears.

Chris Jericho - Dude, he’s fuckin’ Jericho. Best reason to watch the show, especially lately.

John Cena - John Cena, regardless your thoughts on him, IS RAW. He’s the masthead on the flagship, and will be for the as long as he’s healthy and on the roster.

Thanks a lot, nonymo. There’s a reason you’re one of my favorite people around this joint.

That just took foreeeeever. Fun, though.

The rest of it was, as well, and I do thank each and every one of you who sent a question my way. If you’d like to join in the fun, then please feel free to do so. You can hit me up via my email address at AskYourAyatollah@rock.com, or via my very own personal feedback thread on LoPForums, which you can find by clicking right here. Or, if you’re a member of said LoPForums, just hit me with a Private Message.

If you’re not a member of the Forums, well, get that way. I especially encourage you to visit the Columns Forum, where you’ll find some of the absolute best wrestling writing on the net, bar none.

I thank you all for taking the time to check this out. I’ve been doing this column thing for a long time, now, and I’ve never quite enjoyed doing anything quite as much as I do this. I do hope that came through, and that this was a halfway decent way to spend five or ten minutes of your time. I also send my thanks out to my editor, without whom I wouldn’t be doing this in the first place. Thanks for being my sounding board.

Alright, that’ll do it. Playlist wraps tonight with Leper Messiah by Metallica. Hell yes. I shall return in a couple weeks’ time with even more Asky goodness. Again, I encourage you all to send your questions my way, be they about wrestling , music, life in general, whatever. It’s what I do. Until we get together to do it all again, you guys and gals take care of yourselves out there in the big bad really real world. Much love, kids.

Fire at will.

-Steve
AskYourAyatollah@rock.com

Undertakers Wrestlemania streak ENDING

Top 10 Unforgiven Matches

Top 10 Unforgiven Matches

1.      John Cena def. Edge to win the WWE Championship (TLC Match) 2006

It seems like all the upsets take place in Canada. Obviously not as upsetting as the infamous Montreal Screw Job, still Edge’s lose to Cena in Canada is something to be spoken for. As Mr. America took on Captain Canada this match was a dooms day for the Canuk from day one. The facts are simple, it was Edges home town and he was wrestling his match (TLC) so with the cards stacked in the favor for the Champion it would naturally make sense for the upset to occur and Cena to become “The Champ” again. However, this match did deliver in terms of quality, both Edge and Cena took a ladder bump through a table. In addition one cant help but laugh when Jr calls Lita a Bitch. Overall this match was a very good main event to the 2003 Unforgiven.

HIGHLIGHTS: Cena FU’s Lita, Jr calls lita a bitch, FU off the ladder

2.      Chris Benoit Vs Kurt Angle Unforgiven 2002

Wrestling at it’s best, nothing more really needs to be said. With a pay per view being the show everyone wants to get on for that month usually a gimmick goes with the match such as: ladder match, steel cage or even a title on the line. However with Benoit and Angle it was simply to put on an amazing show. Both wrestlers are on the top of their game during this match and it can been seen with the many german suplexs both men deliver to one another. Along with an excellently executed finish that Bret Heart would be proud of.

HIGHLIGHTS: Perfect German Suplexs, fluent submissions

3.      Randy Orton def. Shawn Michaels 2003

With the Legend vs Legend Killer gimmick in full swing it was only a matter of time before one of the best wrestlers of all time would face the new generation. Michaels and Orton took a good hunk of the pay-per-view (23 minutes) and delivered what one would expect witnessing these two at their best. With Ric Flair at ring side for Randy Orton one can notice the usefulness of having a “manager” in your corner.

 HIGHLIGHTS: Ortons RKO, Michales elbow drop, Flair being Flair, Controversial ending

4.      Kurt Angle def. Steve Austin to win the WWE championship 2001

Obviously with names such as Kurt Angle, Steve Austin and WWE Championship one can imagine a great match. However, what this title match brought was more then just technical wrestling. Kurt Angle won his first ever Heavyweight title and he did it in his home town.
HIGHLIGHTS: bumps outside the ring, Angles family lifting him on their shoulders

5.      Shane McMahon vs Kane (Last Man Standing) 2003

Shane O Mac seems to be one of the few in the company who has a passion for the sport and business at an equal pace. He has only wrestled a handful of times but everyone is memorable. Besides being a straight up hardcore match this bout is filled with a ridiculous number of spots in and around the ring. The creativity of this match intense as Shane and Kane attacked each other with everything from: chairs, cords, crane cameras, and announcer both. Ultimately Shane proved his worth with another insane high risk spot jumping from the top of the stage into nothing more then a crash matt. Now after reviewing the video some spots are obviously a little bit more on the fake side but no matter what gravity is gravity and a 40 foot jump is still pretty intense for the sake of a show, props to Shane O Mac

HIGHLIGHTS: Van Daminator, 40 foot bump

6.      Triple H def. Owen Hart to retain European Championship 1998

At the first Unforgiven one of the best matches took place between two “mid carders” at the time. Owen Heart brought his A-game to the ring and once again reminds us how much of a lose professional wrestling took upon his death. Seeing a younger less bulky Triple H is an additional treat as he was much more athletic ten years ago. Both wrestlers brought a lot to the table and interestingly enough it was simply for a title which no longer exists.

HIGHLIGHTS: Owen Harts piledriver, Reverse power bomb into DDT, German Suplex Pin

7.      John Cena Vs. Randy Orton WWE Championship 2007

With an intense build up to this Championship match one wouldn’t expect the WWE to book this match the way they did. Ultimately you expect the main event of a wrestling match to go anywhere form 15-25 minutes. In this match up the fans received a massive 7:20. How did this outcome emerge? With Randy Orton in the corner a raged John Cena began laying blow after blow (mostly body shots) which we have seen in several matches through the years. For some reason the ref decided to break them up but Cena wouldn’t let that happen. Finally the ref called the match due to, punching? The only reason I see this happening is the WWE was looking for a more realistic finish with UFC being big at the time. However in the end we all know wrestling is entertainment and the fans were not entertained.

HIGHLIGHTS: WWE ruining a potentially amazing match

8.      World Heavyweight Championship 2003
Goldberg def. Triple H to win the championship

By 2003 the WWE was in a low spot. Many wrestlers such as The Rock and Stone Cold were no where to be seen. However, the newly signed Goldberg was ready to take the championship from the prodigal son of the WWE. Many had suggested Triple H would never drop the title to Goldberg. But in the end we see how the WWE has a master plane. With the win of Goldberg the feud between Lesnar and Goldberg was created which led to the meet at Wrestlemania.

9.      Undertaker vs. Kane (Inferno Match) 1998

The Brothers of Destruction have had many great matches both against and along side one another. With Undertaker feuding for the first time with his brother Kane we also witness one of the last times Paul Bearer was involved with the story line. As 1998 holds a special place as apart of the WWE attitude era we witness a masked Kane vs the true deadman.

HIGHLIGHTS: Paul Bearer gets drummed, Kane set a blaze

10.  The Hardy Boyz def. Edge & Christian in a Steel Cage Match to win the World Tag Team championship 2000

With the several times these two teams have battled it only seems right that one of their many encounters makes the top ten at Unforgiven. Unfortunately this match was not given its credit as during 2000 the WWE was at an all time high. With names such as The Rock, Chris Benoit, Triple H and Kurt Angle main eventing this match was seen as filler. Sadly in today’s standards had this been on this years card we would be seeing a match of the year being made.

HIGHLIGHTS: Big cage bumps

 Written by: Lord Gonzo of Shop WWE

Racism in Wrestling

With professional wrestling developed in the South one can see how Black wrestlers have had to work harder then any wrestler to make a name for themselves. With the last boost of colour in the WWE being the Nation of Domination we are seeing a new boost with coloured wrestlers in the WWE, but is it for the wrong reason?

With Michael Hayes under a watchful eye after expressing negative comments to Mark Henry we see Henry as a Champion on ECW. Now understandably ECW is not a primary interest to the WWE as it has been treated like a watered down version of the original ECW. Along with Henry as Champion which is preposterous a new comer known as Kofi Kingston was drafted to Raw and claimed the Intercontinental Title from Chris Jericho in his first week on Raw. Both Kofi and Henry won their titles on the same night. With the zero build up to this title change only a few weeks later Shelton Benjamin claimed the United States title from Matt Hardy. Shelton was the last black wrestler to claim a title; however, he isn’t going to be the last with Cryme Time back in the game.

Yes everyone remembers Crime Tyme, the team who was fired from the WWE, no? Well a little refresher will help. In the late winter Cryme Tyme was working a program with Lance Cade & Trevor Murdock. During one house show Cryme Tyme was told to not performer their finishers to Cade & Murdock. However, with the tension between these four men at a high the warning from management fell on def ears. Both members of Cryme Tyme performed their finishers on their opponents then took the Tag-Team Titles and tossed them into the crowd leading them to an immediate termination.

Now with Cryme Tyme back on Raw working a program with Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiasi Jr how long until the WWE feels the heat is off and the WWE goes without a black champion even in the low category such as the ECW Championship.

So the question is still up in the air. Should the WWE be praised or cursed for having so many black champions at once. Personally I don’t see what Mark Henry is doing with a title; he is barley a wrestler let alone a champion. As for Kofi Kingston beating Jericho and Shelton Benjamin beating Matt Hardy both of which were none built up title matches it seems that the WWE is giving away the titles that they lost respect for a long time ago. The main point is that even though black wrestlers are getting titles they aren’t getting the air time that white wrestlers are getting.   

Written By: Lord Gonzo of Shop WWE.net

WWE Creating Their Own Channel?, DVD On Top WWE Star In The Works, WWE-Yahoo

source: Wrestling Observer Newsletter

– WWE is apparently looking to create their own live television channel, instead of just offering an on-demand pay-per-view subscription service in WWE 24/7. WWE is doing marketing to present evidence to the cable companies that people will switch from satellite (or to satellite) based on the ability to see the WWE television channel as a free service. Vince McMahon has been looking to create a WWE television channel for a number of years.

– WWE has plans to release a two-disc DVD set on Edge on November 4, 2008, according to Amazon.com.

– The term “WWE” was on Yahoo.com’s Top Searches list yesterday. It was ranked fourth.

Hustle Is Posting Right Now: Volume 18 (”Lost In Translation” Edition)

Good lookin out for the graphics work, Noc

“I’m the meanest.. and I mean this.. I don’t mean this to sound fiendish, but I’m a genius..”

L-L-L-L-L-L-Lupe The Killa with the intro line this time out. I may not be a genius, but I’m trying my gosh darnedest to give my readers something different to read, or at least an old idea with a different twist to it. There’s nothing wrong with review columns, preview columns, and things of that nature. Nothing whatsoever. However, there are already people here on the main page of Lords Of Pain that do columns like that (and do it well), and I don’t want to step on their toes. Anyway, you’ve clicked the link, so you should already know it, but for those of you who aren’t quite hip to the game yet, this is “Hustle Is Posting Right Now” that you’re reading. That, of course, would make me the man who has got these niggaz mad cause I’m shinin like a light be.. the man who has an attitude like “fuck it” cause muthafuckaz love it.. the man with the flow that’s opposite of handsome, it’s ugly.. I am Hustle, and I am in the building once again. Shout-out to Will Smith, but damn, the summer (summer, summer) time has just been flying by. I vividly remember 2007 winding down, and now I’m sitting here as 2008 is starting to do the same. We’re way past the halfway point in the year, and now it seems like the days are going by even quicker than usual. You know, before 2009 starts to wind down and I’m still here typing this intro, let’s get it crackin like Humpty Dumpty after he had his great fall. Shall I proceed? (Yes, indeed.) Less dew eet!!

“Kotori!”

“Kotori!”

They’re calling my name. I don’t know how to respond quite yet.

“Kotori!”

“Kotori!”

I had only been in Tokyo for a little under 24 hours, but my promotional tour was already well underway. When I was told that they were trying to get a new era of wrestling over in this country, I really didn’t think they were so serious about it. Here I was, though.. having my very own press conference. Sure, it isn’t a very big press conference, but it’s a lot more than I ever dealt with when I wrestled in America. Hell, it’s more than I ever dealt with when I was wrestling in Mexico, and at the time, I thought I was being treated like some sort of a big rock star there. I wasn’t sure of how to react to all of the attention, and a part of me even wondered if I’d be able to get through it all in the coming months. I mean, I’m not shy, by any definition of the word, but being outgoing is one thing, and having people constantly showering you in attention and complimenting you is another thing. I never was good at receiving compliments from people. Ever.

“Kotori!”

I looked over at the translator that was assigned to me, Mr Fukumoto, and nodded, allowing him to start taking questions. He peered out into the crowd, settling on someone at random, pointing at him politely. The man stood up quickly and started speaking in Japanese. When he was finished, it was translated into English for me by Mr Fukumoto.

“How are you enjoying your stay in Japan so far?”

A simple question. I was hoping for something simple, at least to start the press conference off. It’s better than being asked about quantum physics, I guess. It would’ve been a bad start to my time in the country if I had been left to look like a complete idiot in a roomful of media members of various types.

“Although I haven’t been here very long, I’ve been very impressed with Tokyo, and with Japan, as a whole. This is my first time here, but it doesn’t take long to see the beauty and the wonderful scenery, and the people have been very nice to me so far. I have absolutely no complaints.”

Mr Fukumoto translated my answer back to the reporters. I had just met the guy an hour earlier, so I didn’t know anything about him. He could’ve been telling them that I said to eat shit and die a slow, painful death. It was almost like a game to wait for him to finish translating, and then see the looks on everyone’s faces. They smiled this time. Alright, we’re off to a good start. Another question came.

“How did your journey bring you to wrestle in Japan?”

You know, I think I could deal with press conferences like this. Short, simple, to-the-point questions. Good.

“Before I answer that, I must say that I completely enjoyed my time wrestling in America, as well as in Mexico. I left on good terms, and I’m welcome back any time I would like to go. I had read some things on the internet that were untrue, and I wanted to clear that up. Now, as for why I’m in Japan and what brought me here, that’s an easy one. I treat wrestling with the respect that it deserves. It’s my art. It’s my life. I felt that Japan was the right place to be for someone who has that outlook. The wrestling fans in this country are known across the world for the respect they give the wrestlers and to the business itself. The wrestlers here in this country are known for their approach to their craft, as well as for the dedication they possess in working to perfect that craft. It’s almost as if I was born to wrestle here.”

A lot of approving looks when Mr Fukumoto finished translating. That works for me. Time began to move a bit quicker as the press conference went on, and all the “usual” questions were asked.. ones that ranged from “What do you wish to accomplish before you leave Japan?” to “Have you thought about using some of your wrestling fame to transition into doing television or movies?”, and just about everything in between. After posing for what seemed like 15,000 pictures, I was quickly ushered out of the conference room and into the lobby of the hotel that I was staying at. Did I mention that I hadn’t even been in Tokyo for 24 hours yet? Yeah? Well, did I also mention that I hadn’t even seen my hotel room yet? Yup. When I had arrived at the hotel, I had already been scheduled for a magazine photo shoot, which meant the bellboy got to take my luggage and take it to my new home for the next two-and a-half months, at which point I’d be moving into a cottage near the outskirts of town when it was finished being constructed. From the point of me handing off my bags, it was a non-stop barrage of different interviews, photo shoots, appearances, and then, of course, the press conference. It was hectic, to say the least. I hadn’t experienced anything like that in my entire life.

With my schedule finally at its end for the day, I was given a makeshift itinerary for the next day before being “allowed” to go up to my room and finally get some rest. From all of the reviews I read, this was one of the better hotels located in the heart of downtown Tokyo, which was really saying something. My room was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. The room was also much larger than it probably should’ve been, considering that I was the only one staying there. It could’ve accomodated a family of four quite easily, and it probably could’ve handled their family dog, as well. Everything was top-of-the-line, from the electronics to the bedding. I looked over the itinerary for the next day, and I sighed at the realization that my second day in Japan was going to be an even busier day than my first one was. I didn’t quite understand why I needed to take part in so many different photo shoots. How many people needed my picture, anyway? I had an interesting stay ahead of me, and if nothing else, I’d be able to fill up my MySpace photo albums when everything was all said and done, so I had that to look forward to.

———-

“Aaaaand, in this corner.. from San Francisco, California.. Elllll Coliiiiibriiiii!”

My final match before leaving to Japan. The crowd knew it, and they brought streamers to throw in the ring during my introduction. As hard as I tried to fight it, I couldn’t help but get emotional as I made my way towards the ring, slapping hands with the fans in the front row. My opponent that night was Kelly Martinez. Kelly and I knew each other well, and we’ve both gone on record as saying that we were each other’s toughest opponent. We’d had countless matches against each other. I was a face, Kelly was a heel. I was a heel, Kelly was a face. It didn’t matter, as we’d went at it, one way or another. We stared across the ring at each other before meeting in the middle, face-to-face. There were some flashbulbs going off, but for the most part, there was just a silent buzz that filled the whole arena, as the crowd awaited the match. Kelly always was a rather talkative person, and this time was no different, regardless of whether it was my final match with the company or not.

“This is it.”

“Yeah, this is it.”

“You’d better be ready, because we’re about to tear shit up.”

“I’m more ready than I’ve ever been.”

With that, the bell rang. We did, in fact, tear shit up that night. If it wasn’t the best match of my entire career, it was at least in the top five or so. I didn’t get the win that night, nor would I have expected to. It has long been wrestling tradition (for the most part) that a wrestler who is departing a company lose their final match. In some cases, the wrestler will lose a string of matches to end their time with the company, but I was lucky to just get the single loss on my way out the door. When it was all over, Kelly’s hand was raised as I was slowly making my way back to my feet. We looked at each other, and the crowd started chanting.

“Please don’t go! Please don’t go! Please don’t go!”

I became very emotional again. I didn’t want to leave. I was offered a top spot in one of the biggest and best promotions overseas as my specific type of wrestling was making its return to prominence in Japan, and since it wasn’t set to be a permanent move, I was given the blessing to leave. I stood there, and the tears began streaming down my cheeks like waterfalls. I loved the company. I loved the wrestlers there. I loved all the fans that came out to watch us each and every week. Kelly hugged me, and the crowd’s cheering and chanting just got louder. I was having a hard time thinking because of how loud it was in the arena, even though I’d end up thinking about leaving, which would only wind up making me cry even harder. Kelly raised my arm, and the fans applauded. I was given a mic, and the ring was cleared out so that I could give a “goodbye” speech.

“Wow. I honestly wasn’t expecting so much love from everyone.”

The chants began again, as if they were being cued up from somewhere.

“We-will-miss-you! *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* We-will miss-you! *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap*”

“I’m gonna miss all of you, too. Seriously. I love each and every one of you.. even when I hated each and every one of you. Thank you for your support. Your support, not only for me, but for the rest of the folks in the locker room here, and for the pro wrestling industry, in general. Without you, there’s no me. Without you, there’s no us. I told myself that I wasn’t going to get too cheesy or give you guys the usual cliche’ stream, but here I am, doing it, anyway. Bottom line.. even though I’m leaving, it isn’t for good. I love this place way too much to never come back. Are you kidding me? I will be back, and it’ll probably be a lot sooner than most of you think. Trust me. Nothing in the world could keep me away from this place for too long. Nothing whatsoever. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I really do love you. Goodnight.”

That was truly a chilling crowd response that I got as soon as I put the mic down. I got out of the ring and went around slapping hands with the fans again as I made my way to the top of the ramp, where the rest of the roster was waiting for me for hugs and a bit of a celebration. More hugs, hand slapping, and kind words awaited me. I even got awkwardly hoisted up on the shoulders of a couple wrestlers. I wasn’t expecting to be lifted, so when I did, I just leaned forward on instinct, and they nearly dropped me. That would’ve been an amazing final memory for myself and for the fans. Cheers, adulation, applause, chanting, *thud*, unconsciousness. Needless to say, that would’ve made the DVD of the event a bit of a collector’s item. People on eBay would’ve had fun bidding on it, that’s for sure. Come to think of it, I probably would’ve put in a bid or two myself.

———-

I looked out the window at the big blur of neon-colored glow that was downtown Tokyo at 1:14am, and I just stood and soaked it all in. Even at such a late hour on a weeknight, there was still plenty of activity going on below. 41 stories below, to be exact. A part of me kinda sorta wanted to go out and join the people that were out and about, but I knew I’d never be able to make it through my next day if I did. I closed the curtains a bit and climbed into bed. The bed that felt like I was resting on a cloud, by the way. I grabbed the remote so that I could watch some TV as I dozed off, and I pushed what looked to be the Power button, based on its size and placement on the remote.

The curtains slid back open.

That, obviously, wasn’t the right button. I looked around the room to see if there were any other remotes, but the one I had was the only one I could see. I pushed the “Power” button again, and the curtains closed once more. Not knowing how to read anything in Japanese, I just randomly picked a button and pressed it.

The mattress began vibrating.

Alright, that definitely wasn’t such a bad thing at all, and I made a mental note to remember, for future reference, which button it was that I just pushed, but just how in the blue hell was I supposed to turn the TV on? I figured I’d give it one more shot, so I pushed yet another button, almost bracing myself for the surprise that was surely about to be heading my way.

I was startled right out of bed when a female voice began speaking in Japanese. I looked up and there were little speakers built in to the ceiling of the room, not unlike the ones you’d see at a restaurant or a grocery store to play music from. Obviously, I couldn’t understand a word she was saying, but it sounded as if she was asking me a question. Just then, I heard another voice. This time, it was a male, and it was in English, albeit really bad and broken English, but it was English nonetheless.

“We can help you?” Room 4115?”

“Umm.. I think I made a mistake. I didn’t mean to summon you or anything.”

He chuckled a bit before speaking again.

“You here first time?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I’m just looking to turn the television on and go to sleep. I didn’t mean to be a bother.”

“You try push button on TV?”

Gee, thanks, jackass. So, this remote could cause my bed to give me a full-body massage, draw my curtains open and then close them, give me my own concierge service, and God knows what else it could do with all the buttons that I didn’t push.. but it couldn’t turn the TV on and off? What sense did that make?

“Umm.. no. I guess I’ll try that now. Thanks.”

“Have good sleep.”

I stopped the mattress massage and just rolled over to go to sleep. I didn’t want to wind up pushing a button and having a group of circus-trained midgets pop out of the closet to give me an impromptu juggling performance, although now that I think about it, that may not have been such a bad thing. Hmm, I wonder what button that would be..

I tossed and turned in the bed for a while, unable to get any rest. I couldn’t quite understand why. I was tired. My bed was more comfortable than just about any bed I had ever experienced before. It was plenty quiet in the room. I just couldn’t get myself to sleep. I rolled over and looked at the clock. It was 2:48am, about an hour-and-a half since I first slid under the covers. I figured I’d call home, seeing as how it was in the middle of the afternoon there. I was starting to feel a bit homesick, anyway, so it only made sense to call.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey there. What are you doing up? Isn’t it, like, 1 in the morning over there?”

“Actually, it’s just about to hit 3am here.”

“Even worse. What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“I’m good. I just couldn’t sleep, so I figured I’d make a few calls instead of heading back out to find some trouble to get into.”

“How’s Japan so far?”

“I haven’t had a whole lot of time to actually stop and enjoy Japan just yet. Everything has been so fast-paced since I got here. This is the first time I’ve had to myself so far, and it just so happens to be in the early hours of the morning, when I need to get some sleep, yet I just can’t seem to get any.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. You know, it won’t be too much longer, and we’ll be out there to visit you, so I hope you’re able to get some free time by then.”

“Oh, I’m sure I’ll have some time set away for you guys by then. It isn’t gonna be the same here without you. I miss you guys.”

“I miss you, too. We all miss you.”

“What are you up to?”

“Actually, you kinda called at a weird time. I’ve got a late-lunch appointment that I was about to head out for. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not like you knew I was calling or anything. Should I just call you back later then?”

“I think you should try and get yourself some sleep, and then focus on what you’re there for. We’ll be in touch. Don’t you worry about that.”

“Tell everyone that I miss them and that I’m thinking about them. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Definitely. Take care.”

2:52am. Christ, I had hoped it would be a bit longer conversation than just a tad under four minutes. Being alone, so far away from home.. in a place where I didn’t really understand anybody, and they didn’t really understand me, either.. was a bit tougher than I thought it would be.

———-

“Are you sure you really wanna do this?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.”

“Don’t you think you’re a little.. well.. small?”

“Of course I’m small, but I can’t let that stop me from pursuing my dream. I’d never be able to live with myself if I didn’t even give this a shot. I’ve wanted this ever since I could walk and talk, and now that I’m here, nothing is going to stop me. I’ve learned to look beyond my size, and I’d like it if everyone else could look beyond it, as well.”

“I respect your heart, kid. I’ll train you.”

With those words, my journey began. I was the smallest trainee in the entire class. I was the smallest trainee in the history of this gym, as a matter of fact. We had 18 students that came to train on the first day, almost half of which were gone by the second day. The money they paid to train wasn’t refundable, so I was a bit surprised that people didn’t give it more of an effort, no matter how difficult it was or how much pain they were in. The days went by, and we lost a few more trainees along the way. We were down to five, and that ended up being the final total for the remainder of the sessions. We grew close to each other, almost like a family. Of course, with any family, there was the good and there was the bad, but we all got through it.

In the beginning of the training, I felt like I was being patronized, in a way, as it seemed like the other trainees were being told to go easier on me because of my size. Sure, it meant that I wasn’t as tired or as sore as they were at the end of each session, but I knew it also meant that nobody was going to take me seriously as a wrestler if it continued on. I knew that if I didn’t speak up, it would only continue to get worse, so I waited for the next training session after my realization, when I was put together in the ring with one of the largest and strongest trainees there, and I said something right before it was our turn to go.

“When we get in there, if you don’t give me all you’ve got, so help me God, I’m going to stiff the shit out of you!”

My point got across, and it got across quite nicely. From that point on, I was treated as an equal, and not as some fragile, delicate being based on my size. That’s all I wanted from the very beginning, so I was ecstatic to finally get it. The level of respect that seemed to come my way grew tenfold after that incident. I guess people thought I would try to take advantage of their kindness or something. I never thought I’d be so happy to be getting my ass beaten on a regular basis.

———-

Riding around in the backseat of the takushii (taxi) the next day, I got to see more of the city life that was so beautiful. One of the highlights was going past Ueno Koen park to view the cherry blossoms. It was that time of the year, and they were on full display. I had wanted to see the cherry blossoms in person ever since I them on TV as a child. I’m sorry, but simple things like that impress me. I’m just someone who appreciates beauty, even in things that a lot of people wouldn’t necessarily find themselves thinking about. We were heading to a photo shoot involving me and my opponent for my first match in Japan. The funny thing about it is the fact that, as we were driving to the magazine’s offices, I still had absolutely no idea who my opponent was going to be. I didn’t have a name, any tape to study, or anything like that. I didn’t know if that’s how things normally worked in Japan, but it was just a tad bit strange to me.

We arrived at what looked to be an oversized outhouse, and we stopped. The driver did the hand signal for “here we are”, and I just stared at the run-down building in amazement. It didn’t even look like it should be standing anymore, let alone operate as the headquarters for one of the biggest sporting magazines in all of Japan. Mr Fukumoto paid the fare, and we made our way into the building.

I had to fight myself to stifle laughter once I saw the setup for the photo shoot. I’d already known that the Japanese imagination was a magnificent, and sometimes strange, thing, but this was something else altogether. The stage was set like something straight out of the movie “300″, and judging by the person I had just seen walking by dressed as Xerxes, the God-King, I assumed I had just seen my upcoming opponent. I guess that meant I was set to be dressing up as King Leonidas, and sure enough, I was right. I knew they wanted to get us across as “warriors” of sorts, but my goodness, this was taking things much further than I would’ve ever expected.

The site of me in my slightly-altered Leonidas outfit looked absolutely ridiculous. I mean, I looked great. I always looked great. I knew that. I mean, have you seen me? However, this particular outfit made it nearly impossible for me not to laugh a bit when I looked in the mirror. We were given various props to use, ranging from plastic shields to brass swords, which made the entire thing just that much more comical. Face-to-face with my opponent, we posed for a large amount of photos, and I was pretty numb to the entire thing. I just did as Mr Fukumoto asked me to do, as per his instructions from the photographer and the director of the shoot. I think that Mr Fukumoto could sense my doubts about the entire thing, as every time he looked at me to give me my directions, he had a look on his face as if he were apologizing to me for the entire situation on behalf of his country. When it was all said and done, I changed back into my regular clothes quicker than I even thought was physically possible. I knew I had an hour or two to kill before there was anything else scheduled in my day, so I knew exactly where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. Ueno Koen had itself a repeat visitor on that day.

———-

“I just don’t think it’s a very good idea, that’s all.”

“Why not?? This is what I’ve always wanted to do. You knew that when you met me, and you always said that you didn’t have a problem with it, but now that I’m trying to make it all happen for me, you’re against it??”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I don’t exactly want myself getting hurt, either, you know.”

I didn’t understand why people were having such a big problem with my decisions. They didn’t seem to realize that their negative thinking and energy was only going to make things even more difficult on me, which was, supposedly, what they were trying to prevent. There was so much to be proud of me for.. to be happy about.. and yet everyone seemed to want to focus on the negatives. I hate it when people do that.

“I love you, and I do support the decisions you make, regardless of how it seems sometimes, but you have to be able to see this from my point-of-view this time.”

“I love you, too, and I do see things from your point of view, but I also think that it’s sort of a two-way street. You need to see things from my point-of-view. Just support me and be happy for me. That’s all I can ask of you. That’s all I’ve ever asked of you.”

“Fine. Whatever you want. I stand behind you.”

“I didn’t call to fight with you, or for you to give me an attitude.”

“I’m not giving you an attitude. I just don’t know what you want from me. You know that I’m going to support you in your decision making, even if I’m not completely sold on the ideas that you’re following. This just happens to be one of those times. You’re asking me to just change my outlook on things, like it’s that simple or something.”

“That’s not it at all! I’m just saying that-”

“You know what? This isn’t going anywhere, and it’s only going to lead to us fighting. Call me later, when things have cooled down a bit.”

Not only was I interrupted while I was talking, but I was hung up on, as well. It felt like I was being pushed and pulled in all different directions by different people. It made me start to wonder just who really supported me, and who was only saying that they did because they thought its what I wanted to hear. Before I even saved up enough money to think about training to become a wrestler, I knew that I had people in my life who were against the idea. Family members, friends, co-workers, classmates. It was always the same shit, too. They all wondered if I was too small to make it. Some of them were even caught off-guard a bit, as they didn’t even know I was a wrestling fan, let alone a big enough fan that I wanted to be a wrestler myself.

———-

It was the night of my debut match in Japan, and as the saying goes, I had butterflies in my stomach the size of eagles. I was pacing around in the locker room, and my heart must’ve been beating 20 times per second. One of my biggest concerns was the fact that “calling a match” wasn’t anywhere near as big in Japan as it was elsewhere. A lot of matches were “called” pretty much on the fly. That was a problem, seeing as how I didn’t understand, nor speak, a bit of Japanese. From what little research I had done, there weren’t many people in this company that understood or spoke English, and the ones that did weren’t set to be in the ring with me any time soon. The company’s promoter, Mr Hayashi, saw me pacing and walked over to me.

“What wrong? You no need nervous.”

Great. More broken English.

“I just want to make sure that I go out there and make everyone happy.”

“Work on make self happy first. You happy, people happy for you.”

Wait.. was his name Mr Hayashi or Mr Miyagi? That was deep.

“You’re right. Thank you.”

With that, he was on his way. My opponent that night was Shark Ishikawa. Shark wasn’t one of the top names in the company, but was still a respected veteran. I knew we were going to be the second match of the night, so there wasn’t much time to do much thinking, as the show was starting, and we’d be up before I knew it. Several of us were gathered around a monitor as we watched the night’s opening match. Once the final sequence was over, I went off to the side to stretch and get myself into the proper mood for my match. After about 10 minutes, Shark’s music hit, and I knew it was time to really get myself into the “zone”. Once Shark was in the ring, my music hit. It was some generic-sounding rock music that I knew I’d be asking to get changed as soon as possible. Of course, I couldn’t understand damn near anything the ring announcer was saying, but I knew my cue to walk out was when he said “Koooootooooorrrrriiiii!”, so I listened closely for it and followed my cue. The crowd reaction was subdued, but respectful, just as I expected it would be. That’s generally how the fans in Japan are, which can sometimes be jarring for wrestlers coming from countries that have wild and crazy fans. I got the streamer treatment when I got into the ring, which did surprise me a bit, as I figured I would have to win them over a bit more before something like that took place.

As the match itself got underway, my previous worries were proven to be for good reason. I was whipped into the ropes, and as I was coming back towards Shark, I thought I noticed the sign to do a leapfrog and to continue running, but at the exact moment that I jumped, Shark did, as well, and we crashed into each other rather hard. There was some quiet laughter from some in the crowd, but not from Shark. Oh, no, not from Shark. In fact, Shark looked pissed and ready to tear my head from my shoulders. There were a few more brief moments of miscommunication between Shark and I after that, but nothing anywhere near like that first one. All things considered, I’d say the match went pretty well. I was honored to be given a victory over a respected veteran in my debut match, and it may have even surprised some of the fans in attendance. My hand was raised, and I looked into the crowd and saw more than a few people applauding in a half-hearted way. Don’t get me wrong, though, as there were still plenty of people who seemed genuinely happy that I won. I knew I would have plenty of opportunities to try and win everyone over in the coming months, so I wasn’t all that worried about the people in attendance who had any sort of doubts about me. It’s not like I hadn’t been dealing with doubters for years up until that point, anyway.

———-

“You’re quick. Almost too quick for your opponents. It’s almost as if you’re just hovering all around them, quick-striking, and moving around before they can get you back. It’s fun as hell to watch, I’ll tell you that much. In fact, it’s so fun that I want to use it for your name while you wrestle here.”

“What are you going to call me?”

“El Colibri.”

I was basically “The Hummingbird” now, which was fine, as I liked the way that my wrestling style was described to me. Besides, “El Colibri” sounded much better, in my opinion, than “Pajaro Mosca” did, which was another name for “hummingbird” in the Caribbean. At first, the idea for my ring attire would be to have “wings” built into my costume, but I politely shot that idea down. I knew that Lucha Libre was known for its colorful attire, fancy costumes, and over-the-top ideas as much as it was known for the wrestling itself, but I just wasn’t all that thrilled with the idea of flapping my arms up and down on my way to the ring every single time out. Apparently, though, they really wanted to go with the idea in one way or another, as they stitched wing shapes onto my outfit. They gave me a mask to use, as well. I don’t think I would’ve felt right wrestling in Mexico if I didn’t have some sort of mask.

I didn’t wrestle in Mexico for very long, but I made the most of my brief time in the country, wrestling for four different titles in two different promotions, winning one of them. I was also a bit of a trailblazer, as I was the only non-Mexican to wrestle in my divisions, although I do have roots in El Salvador, so it’s not like I was a complete polar opposite of the people in Mexico or anything. Of course, I was billed as being from America, not El Salvador, so it isn’t quite the same, but the point remains the same.

———-

I was on magazine covers. I was making appearances on various television shows, from talk shows to variety shows. I even had a song written about me that charted as high as #4 in the entire country of Japan. My popularity had reached levels that I couldn’t have even imagined in my wildest dreams. I wasn’t a legend or a godly figure or anything, but far more popular than anybody in my situation had ever been in Japan before.

It had reached such a point that I was offered a contract that would have had me relocate to Japan on a permanent basis. On one hand, I missed America. I missed it a lot. I missed the food. Sure, you could go to a McDonald’s or Burger King or Pizza Hut, amongst the other American restaurants in Japan, but it just wasn’t quite the same. I missed the ability to fully communicate with people, even though my Japanese was improving, both in reading and speaking. On the other hand, I was being offered far more money than I’d be able to make wrestling in America, and that’s not even counting the endorsement deals and things of that nature that would only be available to me in a market like Japan. I could also wrestle less dates on a yearly basis to make that money for myself, which was also nice. It actually got to the point where there was a bit of a bidding war going on for my services. It wasn’t like it was when WCW would battle the WWF for free agents, and the contract numbers would reach insane levels, but it still felt good in a selfish way to have companies from multiple countries that thought highly enough of my work to try and outbid each other for me.

In the end, the idea of wrestling in front of my friends and family was just too much for me to pass up. Sure, it was a paycut, but thanks to the escalating bids from both sides, it wasn’t anywhere near as big of a paycut as it would’ve been had I chosen to return to America from the very beginning of the contract talks. I return to America in a few days, and my first match back in the states will be exactly one week after I arrive. I’ve already been notified that I’m getting semi-main event status for my return match, and I even have my very first DVD shoot interview set to be filmed the day after my match. In one of the stranger bits of cross-promotion, I was even chosen to co-host one of DJ Drama’s popular “Gangsta Grillz” mixtapes. It was one of his first Bay Area tapes, as he usually sticks with rappers from the south, but he was going with San Francisco and Oakland-based rappers Ya Boy, Mistah F.A.B. and Keak Da Sneak to co-host. I wasn’t going to turn down a new avenue to attract fans, but it still caught me a bit off-guard that I was asked to co-host a hip-hop mixtape, even with my Bay Area roots. I got all of this press and marketing opportunities only a short time after basically being told that I was too small to ever amount to anything in this business.

Not bad for a women’s wrestler, wouldn’t you say?

Thank you to the following for helping me create ideas for this column:

- “Lost In Translation”, starring Bill Murray & Scarlett Johannson
- My Partner-In-Crime, the one with my BFF bracelet
- Feeling “lost in translation” in life
- Wanting to be elsewhere
- Being different

Thank you to the following for getting me through this column:

- My Partner-In-Crime, the one with my BFF bracelet
- Lemonade flavored Gatorade
- 112’s self-titled debut album
- “Everything” by Lifehouse
- Layla El

Writer’s Note: Thank you. Thank you for being who you are, in good times and also in bad times. I know I say and do things from time-to-time that make things difficult, and for that, I do apologize. I just can’t help myself from wylin’ out every now and then, I suppose. There are times when I don’t deserve for you to be a part of my life, I know that, but whenever I look, there you are, and I’m forever thankful to you for that. I’m sorry for putting you through some of the things that I put you through, and you’re still everything I said you are in the previous two sections. Know that nothing will ever change that, no matter how many fights, how many arguments, or how many disagreements we go through. I do understand that you’re going through a bunch of things in your life right now, and that you really don’t need my baggage at the moment, so I’m respecting that. Either way, though, know that I care. Know that I still have your bracelet. Know that I miss you. Know that I always have your back. Thank you again. You know who you are.

Writer’s Note Part Deux: Thank you. Thank you for listening when I needed someone to talk to. Thank you for the advice whenever it was required, and even when it wasn’t. Thanks for also not making fun of me through certain things, at least not to my face, even though I’m sure I deserved it. I made fun of myself for it, so I know damn well I deserved it from other people. As I said in the last note, I know that I tend to be on the wild side from time to time, and I appreciate it when anybody sticks with me through those times. Thank you again. It really does mean a lot to me. You know who you are.

Writer’s Note Part Tres: To my lil homie, Mavsman.. this is to broadcast the fact that you get those two free shots at any of my favorite sports teams in whatever sport you choose. Could be the San Francisco 49ers, Los Angeles Lakers, Miami Hurricanes football, Hawaii Warriors football, or the Cleveland Indians. To sweeten the deal for you, I’ll even extend the offer to particular players instead of entire teams, if that’s the direction you wish to go in. Colt Brennan, maybe? Whatever’s clever, Trevor.

Writer’s Note Part Quattro: “What is that? Who is that? I never heard of it.. I will take your picture and make a “Rest In Peace” shirt of it..” There’s a few of you cats out there that are just begging to be put on a “Rest In Peace” shirt. Some of you Harvey Dent clowns out there have decided you’d like to try and be Two-Face. I have something real special planned for you guys, though, so don’t worry. I’m giving you some time to come clean and to try and repent for your sins, but once your deadline expires, I’ll be putting you on blast. Don’t test me. I’ll make sure I change your life.

Well, damn, that one was different, wasn’t it? It was birthed as an idea in my head, and it was different then, but now that I’ve formulated all my flows and had those ideas typed out, the entire thing was far more “different” than I could’ve ever thought it would be. I hope it wasn’t too “out there” for some of you. One way or another, at least you gotta admit that it was more than just “Why I Like John Cena”.. wait.. I did that one, too, didn’t I? Well, you all get the point that I’m trying to make. Anyway, if you’re reading this, thank you for riding with me on another edition of HIPRN. We just keep on rockin and rollin, ladies and gentlemen. Before you know it, there’ll be some pretty big numbers following the word “Volume” in the column title. Calvin, hope your check-signing hand is ready to go, cause I’m fixin to earn them paychecks. That next check will be earned in 1 weeks time.. same Hustle time, same Hustle page. Until then, however, I’m gone like the Autobahn, nah’mean? From Paradise, I bid you farewell. Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa.

“Life can change ya directions, even when you ain’t planned it.. all you can do is handle it.. worst thing you can do is panic.. use it to your advantage.. avoid insanity.. manage to conquer every obstacle.. make impossible possible.. even when winning’s illogical, losing’s still far from optional..”

Hustle
HIPRNFeedback@gmail.com
 

THE SUPERBOOK!–CHAPTER 4: IDOLATRY

——————————————————————-

1 Samuel 2:2 

“There is no one holy like the LORD. There is no one but you, O LORD. There is no Rock like our God…”

THE SUPERBOOK!–CHAPTER 4: 

IDOLATRY

Once upon a time, millions and millions of wrestling fans openly worshipped a false God.

In Hinduism, Brahma is the God of creation. Along with Vishnu the preserver, and Shiva the destroyer, these three Gods make up the Trimurti, or “Hindu Trinity.”

However, while Vishnu and Shiva are worshipped, Brahma is not. According to Hindu mythology, Brahma is a cursed God, forbidden to be worshipped.

There are many stories that explain why Brahma is cursed. The most popular reason being Brahma’s unguarded granting of boons, or blessings, to demons. All of the deadly demons in Hinduism attained their boons from Brahma which enabled them to damage the noble virtues of the world. Thus, Brahma was deemed the sole God of worship for demons.

Another reason why Brahma is prohibited from being worshipped on Earth is because of his ego. Brahma is viewed as being responsible for distracting the mind away from the soul and towards the cravings of the flesh.

In order to create the human race, Brahma created a Goddess out of himself and named her Gayatri. Brahma immediately fell in love with Gayatri’s extraordinary beauty, and was unable to remove his gaze off her. She would move in different directions to avoid his stare, but wherever she went Brahma developed a head on each side to maintain his lustful leering of Gayatri, which is why he’s depicted as having 4 heads.

Brahma’s obsession of Gayatri, his own creation in his own image, was motivated by desire which confined consciousness and excited the ego. In essence he became gay for his own image, which is where the term “gay” comes from.

Also, Shiva felt that since Brahma created Gayatri, she was his daughter and therefore it was wrong for Brahma to become infatuated with her. Thus, Shiva deemed Brahma unholy and ordered that there be no worship of Brahma on earth.

As a result, there is only one temple on earth dedicated to Brahma as opposed to the thousands for Vishnu and Shiva.

However, during the Attitude Era in WWF, sports arena’s also became temples in which Brahma was unknowingly worshipped by millions and millions of wrestling fans.

Idolatry is the religious worship of idols, which are images of Gods made into physical objects in place of a monotheistic God. Hindus worship through images in which the Divine Spirit is expressed. The image serves as a link between the worshipper and the God as the image is often considered a manifestation of the God. Worshippers call the presence of the God into the image so that they can communicate with him and receive his blessings.

The Brahma Bull is a sacred cow in Hinduism named after the Hindu God Brahma who became a cursed God. The image of the Brahma Bull was worshipped by wrestling audiences the same way all Gods are worshipped in polytheistic religions.

By worshipping images of Gods made into idols out of stone…or rock.

With the image of the Brahma Bull on ‘The Rock’ it is plain to see that The Rock was actually an idol of Brahma, a cursed God forbidden to be worshipped.

The Rock Says!…

Devout Hindus bow before idols in temples and even speak to them as if talking to an individual. Of course, these idols are merely stone sculptures which are unable to respond. But it is believed that if there is enough devotion in the heart of the devotee, the God gives a direct response.

The most electrifying!…

Worshipping Hindu’s will bathe an idol, offer it food, and adorn it with flowers among other things to maintain the idol’s power. The nature of the deity’s power is said to be electric, meaning the idol can produce an electrical current that can be felt by the worshipper when worshipping strongly enough.

Since ancient times, It has been believed that the wearer of an image channels the spirit of the image. For example, a man would tattoo the image of a tiger on himself and he would begin to take on the ferocity of a tiger. Likewise, with the image of the Brahma Bull tattooed on him, Dwayne Johnson actually channeled the spirit of Brahma.

Upon making his entrance, the Rock would look left and gaze longingly before quickly changing directions and looking to his right, again holding his stare in a forced and deliberate motion, channeling Brahma and mimicking his 4 heads that sprang up to keep his eyes on Gayatri.

As Brahma was channeled through Dwayne Johnson, he proceeded to trick wrestling fans into worshipping him. Hindu’s worship idols by engaging in chanting. The Rock would frequently goad wrestling fans into chanting his name.

“With the millions….and millions of The Rock’s fans chanting his name…” 

Routinely, unsuspecting fans would then proceed to chant “Ro-cky, Ro-cky!” Though seemingly insignificant, by having the fans engage in chanting, wrestling audiences were actually duped into false God worship directed to them under Brahma’s command.

The Devil knows you would never willingly worship a false God, so he has to deceive you into it by manipulating your conscience. Shockingly, while the millions…and millions of wrestling fans praised Dwayne Johnson for his electrifying performances, they also inadvertently worshipped Brahma.

The raising of one eyebrow was one of The Rock’s biggest trademarks. But before this quirk became synonymous with him, it was always used by villainous characters to signify sinister intent.

Did you smell what The Rock was cooking?

——————————————————————-
Epilogue 

God introduced wrestling to the world when He sent an Angel to wrestle Jacob to gain his salvation. However, through demonic interception, Satan exploited the virtues of wrestling in an attempt to achieve his master plan of sending millions and millions of wrestling fans to Hell with him. Therefore, dear wrestling fans, be wise as serpents as you go out into the arena, lest you be deceived. Amen.

——————————————————————-

…………………………………………………….NOC!
SUPERFANLOP@GMAIL.COM

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